Things Will Change, No Matter What!

 

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It is almost the end of 2015, which means time to come up with some new goals for the new year. I think that setting some goals is such a great thing to do, even if you don’t accomplish them. ‘Wait Anoek, did you really say that?’, Yes I did! I think that the process of spending an afternoon reflecting and realising how you are doing now is such an important thing in life. 

At the end of 2014 I made some goals and I will be very honest with you I didn’t accomplish a lot of them. First of all because there were so many small ones that I just completely forgot about and from some I just had way to high expectations. Even though I feel quite sad about not accomplishing some of them I feel that it was good to take my time and come up with goals. When you set some goals it means that you want to work on yourself, it means you want to work hard to change and it means that you have the power to do something.

If I look at me a year ago I was quite a different person, I have accomplished a lot this year without even realising, but now that I look back I am so proud. Last year I didn’t talk about my feelings at all. I stuffed myself with all my thoughts and emotions and when my mother asked what was wrong while I was crying I didn’t say a word. There are still a few things that I don’t want to talk about because I think that it is too personal or not worth sharing. However, I feel like I want to talk to her a lot now, because talking feels good to me.

Another thing that has changed immensely is the way I think about myself. A few months ago I also felt like I was not as good as other people, like I was standing in the way of others and I would not come out of my comfort zone at all. I feel much more confident about myself and I feel that I am worth saying and doing things too. Last month I chose to finally apply for a job at the fruit and veggie shop in a village near by. Working there has been a dream for a few years and now they searched for someone. So I wrote a letter and hoped to hear from them. So I got a letter back and I could even come and have a interview. Unfortunately, my time scedule didn’t fit theirs, so I didn’t get the job. However, I have never been more proud of myself than ever. I have grown so much this year, a year ago I would have NEVER done this. Last year I was way to insecure and my head was full of negative thoughts.

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These and many more things changed, but none of them were really goals that I made at the end of 2014. So will I write down a list of goals this year? Yes. Will I accomplish all of them? Probably not. But I know that I will work hard and do my best and best of all, I will change and things will get better without even knowing it, just from being motivitated and wanting to become a better person.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds. I know that there are still a few weeks left, but I all wish you a happy New Year already.

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